It's Clearly NOT a Sport!

After 44 years of hangin' at the shack and hangin' ten out front, I've come to the conclusion that surfing is NOT a sport... it's a disease.  (Come on... if alcoholism is a disease, then surfing certainly is as well.  After all, surfing ruins lives too.  Name one Fortune 500 CEO, President of the United States, or other classic overachiever that's a die hard surfer.  Can't?  Thought so.)

According to good ole' Merriam Webster, a "disease" is defined as: 

A condition that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms.

Well, need I say more?  Surfing definitely impairs normal functions.  I mean, getting up at 5 AM, after partying most of the night, and driving down to the beach while it's still dark, and then putting on a cold & sandy wetsuit in order to go out into water that's 60 degrees, give or take... all to catch a wave and ride it for maybe 30 seconds?  Normal?  Not even close.

And, as far as "signs and symptoms"  are concerned, Dude... it was epic!  You've got to be kidding. Surfers don't even talk like normal people.

Think I'm wrong?  Then post your lame argument here, where me and my bros can ridicule it... and you, for that matter.